Baby Boomers Moderate Exercise; Notice Scarcity Of Seniors In Marathons

Baby boomers, who exercise more than any generation before them, have been flocking to orthopedic surgeons to tend to their aching tendons and joints.

As news of the growing need for surgical intervention spread, a number of boomers have found the willpower to moderate the intensity of their workout routines.

Personal experience has also confirmed the wisdom of moderation. For example, one inveterate marathoner was shocked by the surprising perception that there were not a lot of senior citizens dashing across the finish line in the New York Marathon.

He began to wonder if at a certain age less strenuous activity might actually be, not only the better part of healthcare, but all that’s generally possible. He also began to ask himself if seniors who persisted in intense physical challenges like the marathon were absent at or near the finish line because they literally dropped by the wayside. He dismissed that possibility, because it really brought into question his hope for up-to-the-last-minute youth.

He shared the possible advisability of moderation with a fellow boomer, who happened to be his girlfriend. She agreed to take it into consideration but required proof of the astonishing comeuppance. So, while working out at her gym, she looked around and noticed, to her amazement, that there were not a lot of seniors sweating along with her, especially on the running track and in the weight room.

Most unsettling of all, she noticed that a confounded lot of the runners looked younger than she did.

She dared to break the stunning revelation to a friend, who told her boyfriend. Since hot news has a way of making it through the boomer vine, soon the bewildered generation was abuzz with the invitation to moderation.

Being serious about their health, many have researched the bone-crushing consequences of persistent over-exercise and have discovered that that they really should take it a little easy on themselves, especially since many of them are flirting with age 60. It seems that if they can persuade themselves of the wisdom at least some moderation they will go a long way toward preserving their knees, ankles, and assorted joints, tendons, and muscles. They could also save on visits to the surgeon.

As expected, however, hard-line boomers are adopting an over-exercise-until-you-drop attitude.

As one recalcitrant member of the group said, “Hey, it’s like exercising came with the genes. I can’t change my routine anymore than I can change my feet, which wake up every morning, ready to run for miles.”

This group is so determined they plan to exercise excessively, even if it means hobbling into old age due to self-inflicted hobbling. As another member of the over-exercise or you’re over-the-hill group stated, ”Look, if I’m going to need a knee replacement or two, I might as well be one of the first in my generation to get one.”

Tom Attea, creator of Newslaugh.com, has had six shows produced Off-Broadway and has written comedy for TV. Critics have called his writing ""delightfully funny" and "witty" with "good, genuine laughs."

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Gas Prices Go
Recently, the price of gas has gone up approximately three or four times a day, depending on how energetic the person is who climbs up and changes the prices at your favorite filling station, until the only word for the skyrocketing astonishment is "gas-tronomical!”

President Bush took a bold stance on the issue, saying, ““Americans understand the price of crude oil is going up but they will not accept manipulation of the market. And neither will I!”

Proud words, perhaps evoked partly due to anxiety about how his credentials as an ex-oilman might weigh untowardly on his credibility and on his already in-the-well approval ratings.

In the same speech, perhaps not quite recognizing the astonishing similarity to manipulation, but in a consumer-friendly sense, he announced that he is increasing the supply of the suddenly pricey liquid by temporarily halting deposits to the U. S. Strategic Petroleum Reserve.

Nevertheless, as a result of the dramatic revaluation of the ironically golden liquid, some surprising new players have entered the gasoline business. Tiffany has announced it plans to install a fuel pump next to the counter in which it displays its most extravagant diamonds. Cartier intends to retail the gaseous bauble in solid-gold thimbles. And DeBeers, the legendary diamond merchant, will promote its pricy petrol with a variation on its usual slogan, "A diamond is forever," with “A tankful is not forever."

On the other hand, Average Americans, in an effort to accommodate the daily dozen or so price rises, have adopted new ways to get to work. One, called deep carpooling, requires commuters to stuff themselves into cars until their arms and legs are sticking out the windows. Another is to hitch a half-dozen or so cars together, so they can all move along with only one engine burning the precious fuel.

Others have once again opted for the uncertainties of mass transportation and, as expected, are often arriving at work late en mass.

But Americans are a can do people, no matter how much a can of Middle Eastern oil attempts to grease the skids in their wallets.

Tom Attea, creator of Newslaugh.com, has had six shows produced Off-Broadway and has written comedy for TV. Critics have called his writing ""delightfully funny" and "witty" with "good, genuine laughs."

France Attacks Iran: U. S. And Britain Object
France, casting aside its usual insistence on diplomacy, even when it’s obvious to every person who happens to be alert that it can’t work, finally grew impatient with Iran’s centrifuge-rattling behavior and launched a unilateral attack on it.

As French mirage jets swooped down on Iran’s nuclear facilities and French troops launched a land assault from warships in the Persian Gulf, the United States and Britain voiced immediate objections.

President Bush said, “I just don’t understand why the French have gone ahead and attacked Iran without consulting us. It’s just not right to do things without having your allies on board.”

Tony Blair stated, “I would have thought President Chirac would have given more time for diplomacy to work. After all, we know it’s going to be at least a month or more before Iran has an atomic bomb.”

On the other hand, German Chancellor Merkel voiced support for the French attack, saying, “I actually felt it was time for a European leader to act as highhandedly as the Americans did in Iraq."

”Meanwhile, President Jacques Chirac dismissed allied concerns and vowed to continue his go-it-alone policies, stating, "I was at my cattle ranch in Bordeaux, when I realized Iran is even closer to France than it is to America. Of course, we usually wait for America to carry on a war we know is necessary for our own safety. It’s cheaper and a lot more popular with French voters. But I decided this is one war the French had to foot the bill for, even without American and British approval.”

The U. N. has not yet issued a comment on the preemptive French strike. At the time of this writing, Secretary General Kofi Annan had only recently finished his morning coffee, the beverage that has long been named after him, and he was just about to wander over to the General Assembly to see if any diplomats wanted to discuss the possibility of discussing the attack.

On the way, he commented, “You’d think Jacques would have at least given me us some advance notice. Although a lot of people have come to doubt it, the U. N. is still here.”

Tom Attea, creator of Newslaugh.com, has had six shows produced Off-Broadway and has written comedy for TV. Critics have called his writing ""delightfully funny" and "witty" with "good, genuine laughs."

Senior Ticked For Walking Too Slow; Others Try Roller Skates
An 82-year-old woman was recently issued a ticket in California for crossing a street too slowly. A police officer, who arrived on a motorcycle, told her she was obstructing traffic – and issued her a summons for $114.

Responding to the uproar caused by the curious traffic ticket, the municipality has begun to wonder if it should work out ways to help seniors cross streets without fear of incurring a penalty.

It is, of course, much too optimistic to hope that the municipality and the nation at large will speed to their rescue with such startling innovations as walk signs that last longer.

As a result, seniors, alarmed by the pricy citation, particularly those who are living on social security, are taking steps of their own, as they frantically search for ways to hurry along. Of course, electric wheelchairs have long been an option. But many simply don’t see themselves in the undeniably helpful items, at least, not until they encounter accidents due to the other resources they’ve been turning to, for instance, roller skates.

We also understand that bicycles have been selling briskly, particularly near retirement communities.

Of course, those who are fortunate enough to live with more able partners have the luxury of looking into other options, such as little red wagons and, in rural areas, wheelbarrows.

In a nutshell, seniors are turning to every possible mode of expedition they can think of, which generally means they’re equipped with the age-old facilitation of wheels.

While these alternative modes of transportation might offer suitable answers during balmier times, there is some concern about what to do when snow and ice cover the ground. Among the more daring sorts, there is talk of skis, while others are considering ice skates.

Until then, we can at least be glad that the dear recipient of the instigating ticket was not also issued points. Enough of those, and she’d have to be concerned about losing her walking license.

Tom Attea, creator of Newslaugh.com, has had six shows produced Off-Broadway and has written comedy for TV. Critics have called his writing ""delightfully funny" and "witty" with "good, genuine laughs."

Meet Kate Bosworth: Superman Returns
There are few more iconic characters in American movie history as Lois Lane, Clark Kent’s sidekick at the Daily Planet, and Superman’s romantic interest. But 23 year old Kate Bosworth’s performance has earned her a number of excellent reviews in the role in the latest film in the Superman series – ‘Superman Returns’.

Bosworth admits that she was unsure if any actor could pull of a convincing Superman/Clark Kent combination – she remembers the original film with great excitement. However, she is full of praise for Brandon Routh, the unknown actor who plays the title role. She realized how good Routh was going to be as early as an early screen test, before she had got the role, when she discovered she “had become totally lost in just reading with him, in a white, bare, sparse room with the tri-pod video camera and a couple of people sitting around and watching and that's when I realized he was going to be tremendous in this film”.

Bosworth modelled her Lois Lane performance on Katharine Hepburn. "I watched a lot of Hepburn to prepare for Lois, particularly ‘The Philadelphia Story’ and ‘Guess Who's Coming to Dinner’. Hepburn is a great model for how I see Lois - strong but fragile."

Bosworth spent her early childhood moving around the US, from Los Angeles to San Francisco, then to Connecticut and to Massachusetts. It was around the time of the move to Massachusetts in 1998 that she heard of an open audition for Robert Redford’s film ‘The Horse Whisperer’. A horse-lover, she went along for the experience, and won the role of the female lead's best friend. After “The Horse Whisperer” Bosworth took a break from acting, returning two years later to resume her career which has culminated with her role in ‘Superman Returns’.

Filmography

Superman Returns (2006)
Bee Season (2005)
Beyond the Sea (2004)
Win a Date with Tad Hamilton! (2004)
Advantage Hart (2003)
Wonderland (2003)
The Rules of Attraction (2002)
Blue Crush (2002)
Remember the Titans (2000)
Young Americans (2000) TV Episode
The Newcomers (2000)
The Horse Whisperer (1998)

Niall is a huge fan of the original Superman film, and is looking forward to the release of Superman Returns. For news and information about the new film visit his site at www.SupermanReturnsNews.com. All rights reserved. Copyright www.SupermanReturnsNews.com.