Baby Boomers Moderate Exercise; Notice Scarcity Of Seniors In Marathons

Baby boomers, who exercise more than any generation before them, have been flocking to orthopedic surgeons to tend to their aching tendons and joints.

As news of the growing need for surgical intervention spread, a number of boomers have found the willpower to moderate the intensity of their workout routines.

Personal experience has also confirmed the wisdom of moderation. For example, one inveterate marathoner was shocked by the surprising perception that there were not a lot of senior citizens dashing across the finish line in the New York Marathon.

He began to wonder if at a certain age less strenuous activity might actually be, not only the better part of healthcare, but all that’s generally possible. He also began to ask himself if seniors who persisted in intense physical challenges like the marathon were absent at or near the finish line because they literally dropped by the wayside. He dismissed that possibility, because it really brought into question his hope for up-to-the-last-minute youth.

He shared the possible advisability of moderation with a fellow boomer, who happened to be his girlfriend. She agreed to take it into consideration but required proof of the astonishing comeuppance. So, while working out at her gym, she looked around and noticed, to her amazement, that there were not a lot of seniors sweating along with her, especially on the running track and in the weight room.

Most unsettling of all, she noticed that a confounded lot of the runners looked younger than she did.

She dared to break the stunning revelation to a friend, who told her boyfriend. Since hot news has a way of making it through the boomer vine, soon the bewildered generation was abuzz with the invitation to moderation.

Being serious about their health, many have researched the bone-crushing consequences of persistent over-exercise and have discovered that that they really should take it a little easy on themselves, especially since many of them are flirting with age 60. It seems that if they can persuade themselves of the wisdom at least some moderation they will go a long way toward preserving their knees, ankles, and assorted joints, tendons, and muscles. They could also save on visits to the surgeon.

As expected, however, hard-line boomers are adopting an over-exercise-until-you-drop attitude.

As one recalcitrant member of the group said, “Hey, it’s like exercising came with the genes. I can’t change my routine anymore than I can change my feet, which wake up every morning, ready to run for miles.”

This group is so determined they plan to exercise excessively, even if it means hobbling into old age due to self-inflicted hobbling. As another member of the over-exercise or you’re over-the-hill group stated, ”Look, if I’m going to need a knee replacement or two, I might as well be one of the first in my generation to get one.”

Tom Attea, creator of Newslaugh.com, has had six shows produced Off-Broadway and has written comedy for TV. Critics have called his writing ""delightfully funny" and "witty" with "good, genuine laughs."

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Gas Prices Go
Recently, the price of gas has gone up approximately three or four times a day, depending on how energetic the person is who climbs up and changes the prices at your favorite filling station, until the only word for the skyrocketing astonishment is "gas-tronomical!”

President Bush took a bold stance on the issue, saying, ““Americans understand the price of crude oil is going up but they will not accept manipulation of the market. And neither will I!”

Proud words, perhaps evoked partly due to anxiety about how his credentials as an ex-oilman might weigh untowardly on his credibility and on his already in-the-well approval ratings.

In the same speech, perhaps not quite recognizing the astonishing similarity to manipulation, but in a consumer-friendly sense, he announced that he is increasing the supply of the suddenly pricey liquid by temporarily halting deposits to the U. S. Strategic Petroleum Reserve.

Nevertheless, as a result of the dramatic revaluation of the ironically golden liquid, some surprising new players have entered the gasoline business. Tiffany has announced it plans to install a fuel pump next to the counter in which it displays its most extravagant diamonds. Cartier intends to retail the gaseous bauble in solid-gold thimbles. And DeBeers, the legendary diamond merchant, will promote its pricy petrol with a variation on its usual slogan, "A diamond is forever," with “A tankful is not forever."

On the other hand, Average Americans, in an effort to accommodate the daily dozen or so price rises, have adopted new ways to get to work. One, called deep carpooling, requires commuters to stuff themselves into cars until their arms and legs are sticking out the windows. Another is to hitch a half-dozen or so cars together, so they can all move along with only one engine burning the precious fuel.

Others have once again opted for the uncertainties of mass transportation and, as expected, are often arriving at work late en mass.

But Americans are a can do people, no matter how much a can of Middle Eastern oil attempts to grease the skids in their wallets.

Tom Attea, creator of Newslaugh.com, has had six shows produced Off-Broadway and has written comedy for TV. Critics have called his writing ""delightfully funny" and "witty" with "good, genuine laughs."

U.S. Ends Oil Dependency; Turns B.S. Into Fuel
While America is experiencing a gasoline shortage, the nation’s dependence on foreign oil is about to end.

A researcher at The Department of Energy, from which breakthrough ideas emanate on a regular basis, noticed that Americans, along with most people who ever lived, have a virtually unlimited and renewable supply of B. S. He wondered if it might be turned into fuel.

The hypothesis proved so promising that his work produced a marvelous result in as short a time as it took to record some B. S. from a wonderfully fertile colleague and wire it to a refinery. He calls the new potion Bio-Super.

“It’s the most concentrated fuel in history,” he tells us, “with an octane rating of 99.9. I figure we’ve got enough of a supply to meet our total energy needs for the foreseeable future. All we have to do is keep B. S.-ing the way we do, and we’ll have all the Bio-Super we and our children need.”

The product is ready for mass production. The technique calls for the collection of B. S. from all over the country by having the most irrepressible exponents of it talk into microphones. The B. S. is then broadcast to the closest refinery.

Bio-Super also has an advantage over other fuels in terms of pollution, because the process actually takes a lot of it out of the air.

Since the B. S. is so highly concentrated to begin with, the production of Bio-Super is quite a lot more efficient than the manufacture of biofuel from corn or woodchips. Just a hundred words of good old American B. S., particularly from people who like to hang out at bars after work and talk their heads off, can produce enough to fill up the gasoline tank on a Hummer.

The only negative aspect is the product’s exceptional volatility. Once you pump it into your tank, you have to slam the gas cap shut instantly or it will all evaporate. Motorists are also advised only to remove the cap when the gauge is nearly on empty and to stand aside; otherwise, there is the risk of being knocked out with a force that scientists have calculated is equivalent to six airbags.

Tom Attea, creator of Newslaugh.com, has had six shows produced Off-Broadway and has written comedy for TV. Critics have called his writing ""delightfully funny" and "witty" with "good, genuine laughs."

No Fun Na.
Not so long ago I wrote about the Da Vinci Code causing a big stink here in India. That bubble has just about burst and lo behold we have another film causing a stir. The film Fanaa (Destruction) has got the BJP (Bharatiya Janata Party) in Gujarat in a twist. Well it’s not exactly a problem with the film but with its main actor Aamir Khan.

You see Aamir Khan has recently had a stint at being a social activist. He made the mistake of speaking his mind in the world’s largest democracy. It all began with people protesting against raising the height of the Narmada Dam which we in India supposedly need to meet our insatiable demand for energy particularly in this case – electricity. The protestors are demanding proper rehabilitation for the thousands of people that have been displaced because of this mammoth project. Aamir Khan joined in to give their demands a louder voice. That did it.

The right wing ruling Hindu party in Gujarat the BJP has banned all products endorsed by the actor including Coca Cola and Toyota cars and also his latest film release Fanaa. This does not in anyway represent the will of the general public in the state nor does it make much sense. The movie was released a few days ago in the rest of the country and has got a good response.

When will our political parties realize that the people no longer get excited about these frenzied agitations, which lack any real depth and are done just for show. The losers in this case are only the people of Gujarat. They need to realize that speaking one’s mind on any issue facing the people of India is the fundamental right of every citizen of the country. We cannot censure people in society just because we don’t like what they say.

Fanaa is about the relationship between a blind girl and an undercover terrorist. It has nothing against the state or people of Gujarat. Why then should it be banned? It is mainstream cinema that will do well or not on its own strengths as a film. This entire furor is hype generated by two bit politicians mainly for their fifteen minutes of fame.

For all thosehot heads seeking a ban on an actor or any person for that matter, who uses his or her freedom of speech in our country today, may we remind them that maybe they are living in the wrong part of the world here. I would suggest mass migration to a much cooler locale say for instance North Korea.

Sasha Masand the founder of Indian Voice Overs is an award winning Television Producer who has been part of the Indian media industry for over twelve years.

Counteract Anxiety Attacks
Sometimes life is hard and can cause you to feel out of control. Does anyone know what I'm talking about? Things are going well for a while and then it seems like out of no where comes something hard and unexpected that throws you into an anxiety attack? I have had this experience all too many times in my adult life, but it wasn't until recently that I began to be aware of the symptoms before they hit so that I could counteract the anxiety attacks.

Anxiety attacks are brought on by many different things and can affect people in vastly different ways. An event that may send someone into an anxiety attack may be handled with ease by another person. There is no telling what will or will not cause an anxiety attack to occur. We can, however, learn our own bodies and responses so that we can be better prepared when anxiety attacks occur.

For me, anxiety attacks seem the most likely when I am dealing with health issues with myself or my family. For some reason, I have always felt anxious about health related issues and potential health problems in the people I care about most. My husband, on the other hand, takes health related issues in stride yet finds himself dealing with anxiety attacks over financial issues that threaten our family. I am so thankful that while anxiety attacks are a normal part of life, that not everyone deals with them the same or gets them at the same time. Can you even imagine a world like that?

I have learned myself pretty well over the years, so that now I know how to counteract anxiety attacks. The biggest thing that I need to do is to get away and get alone. This could mean walking into another room or getting outside for a walk or run. I know that my anxiety attacks are made worse when I am forced to deal with them in front of people. Another key for me in counteracting anxiety attacks is to get active. Taking time regularly to exercise is one of the best methods of stress control and hence anxiety attack prevention for me. The more active I am, the less the little things seem to stress me out.

Figure out the things that cause anxiety attacks in you and look for good ways to counteract them. Your life will be a lot more manageable if you can learn to take things in stride and to not let small things lead to big anxiety attacks. Talk with a doctor or a counselor for more advice.

Analeese Burnabaker has learned to deal with anxiety attacks quite well. As a personal fitness trainer, she helps people deal with stress and anxiety almost daily. See more at www.anxietyattackshelp.info